10 Bad Choices That Ruin Black Women’s Lives
October 28, 2007 on 5:16 am | In Dr Grace's Book Reviews |
This book is written for you. It will guide you to successfully face and remove the obstacles that are keeping you from getting the loving and the healthy relationship that you deserve. My mother’s death is the foundation upon which I wrote this book. When I was ten years old, my beautiful young mother was murdered in front of me by her obsessive ex lover who became a stalker. Several years later my aunt met a similar fate. I’ve openly shared their tragic and unhealthy relationship stories with you in this honest relationship book to help you avoid being victimized by any similar experience.
This classic Essence magazine and Barnes & Noble bestseller is a lively provocative guide that shows you how to successfully face and remove the obstacles that keep you from achieving the happy, healthy relationship you deserve. Although dedicated to African-American women 10 Bad Choices exposes the emotional, social, and psychological roadblocks all women unconsciously place in the way of their own successes. It also equips both single and married women with the tools to tear down these barriers. I’ve analyzed ten of the most common mistakes women make in their lives regarding men and show you how to avoid or correct them.
Relying on case studies, interview, and the letters received, I’ve compiled this frank and refreshing relationship manual to get to the heart of the matter by illuminating why many contemporary women, no matter how smart, savvy, and successful, continue to make unhealthy relationship choices and lose at the dating game, and shows them how to face, erase and replace these problems. The winner of many awards, a favorite in several reading groups around the country, and endorsed by numerous relationship experts, 10 Bad Choices will free you from past disasters, correct present mistakes, and prevent future unhealthy relationship mishaps.
I’ve selected these three chapters to give you a brief insight of the honest discussion that is contained in this relationship book:
Bad Choice #1: Sisters Dissin’ Sisters
Have you ever wondered why so many women choose to be so competitive with and disrespectful of each other? Have you ever been in a situation where a friend or acquaintance has gossiped about you, betrayed your trust, and/or flirted heavily or cheated with your man? In this chapter, you’ll find out the distasteful, yet common practice of women disrespecting other women, whether over a man, money, or job, and how to avoid being a victim.
Bad Choice #4: Exchanging “Sexual Dealings” for Loving Feelings
We have all heard the saying “haste makes wastes”, but too often we fail to apply the logic to sex in our relationships. Very often women surrender sex too soon without a compatible, monogamous agreement, secretly hoping that somewhere along the way the man will eventually fall in love with them. And when he fails to make a deeper commitment, or pulls a disappearing act, we become broken-hearted. We get hurt because we fool ourselves into believing that if a man enjoys having sex with us, enjoys breathing hard and enjoys coming back for repeated performances, then it must mean he is in love with us. This chapter shows you that what he is in love with is the performance, not the performer. He may appreciate you for sharing the act with him, but in his mind appreciation does not equal commitment.
Bad Choice #6: Staying On, Although Respect Has Gone
When popular recording artist Tina Turner released the song “What’s Love Got to Do with It?”, it immediately catapulted to the top of the music charts around the globe. This woman endured her own hellish nightmare with an abusive, disrespectful husband for years.Had she not fled for her life, she probably wound not have been alive to sing this song of survival which struck a familiar chord deep within millions of us. What’s extremely alarming is the number of women who remain in life-threatening relationships rather than seek help from a friend, a professional, or anyone because they are either afraid or too embarrassed to “air their dirty laundry out in public.” Using candid accounts of my own mother’s story, this chapter will encourage and strengthen you to understand that is better to be alive with a little dirty laundry than to be dead with all the clean linen in the world. If respect is gone, it’s time to move on.
Throughout this book, I share with you my personal stories as well as stories of other women (and men) from my private consultations, my advice on national TV talk shows, in seminars, workshops and my relationship columns. Some of the stories may sadden you, others may amuse you, some may anger you, and many may shock you, but all will certainly have an important impact on your life. They will give you a candid picture of how to avoid the 10 Bad Choices That Ruin Black Women’s Lives.
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Hi, my name’s Greg, I’m 19 years old, black, male, and one of the good men that women say don’t exist. Your book “10 Bad Choices That Ruin Black Women’s Lives” is what every woman in AMERICA should read, I was cleaning and listening to a CD. i happen to glance down at my mom’s books below the CD player, and noticed, I only read a little of “No money, No honey” and ” Decent Proposal/Indecent Proposal”, I was mature at a very young age, being raised by my mom and aunt’s can do that. Me and a lot of my other guy friends, always wanted a good girl, to have that fairy tale romance of a high school sweetheart, but the girls we’ve always encountered were some of the same types you talked about in your book. Gold diggers, emotionally detached, superficial, arrogant, just plain evil girls. We, my friends and I, tend to always end up the “friend”, which entitles you to listen to an awesome girl’s problems with an asshole she dated, whom we advised against it. Or we get discriminated against because we’re not Ambercrombie & Fitch models when it comes to looks or body type, or don’t have deep pockets. All in all your book expresses EVERYTHING we try to convey to women, but I guess the only way they’d accept it is from a Doctor. I just want to say thanks for writing it, it gets out a lot of points and frustrastions that most good men deal with.
Comment by Gregory — October 28, 2007 #
My name is Sherry
About 3 years ago, a friend of mine sent me a book - 10 Bad Choice that Ruin Black Women’s Lives. I was the Editor of Pride Magazine at the time and that night, I read the book cover to cover. Why? Dr.Grace Cornish was on point. Many of the scenarios mentioned therein was a reflection of my life and the lives of many of my friends. Every day, whilst I was Editor, I got letters from readers who had many of the problems mentioned in the book and it was pleasurable for me to write an article promoting that book to the many women who needed that advice. In fact, 40,000 read Pride Magazine, so the audience was wide. Since then I have commissioned Dr. Grace to write further articles because she has so got her finger on the button. Not every woman has somebody or a girlfriend in which she can confide in. By reading this book,and in fact all the other books she has written, every woman will find a good friend in Grace and answers to many questions about herself.
Sherry Dixon
Editor In Chief
She Caribbean Magazine
Comment by Sherry Dixon — November 7, 2007 #
I really enjoyed reading the book “10 Bad Choices that Ruin Black Women’s Lives”. This book has been very motivational to many who read it. I have become a more effective learned so much and am now more effective at counseling many persons I have met with emotional problems. God Bless you Dr. Grace and we hope you will come to share soon in St. Thomas USVI!
Comment by Keisha — December 5, 2007 #